Dragoctosaur

May 22

When I was in preschool there was this really weird system of time-out where they’d put you in this giant plastic bucket sort of like this one:

And the rule was you couldn’t leave the bucket for ten minutes.

In case you didn’t know, I was what the teachers referred to as a “difficult child” which is code for “walking entity of sass” so I was in the time-out bucket quite a bit.

Once they put me in the bucket for thirty minutes— and I thought that was incredibly unfair so I grabbed the handles and shifted my body repeatedly until the bucket and I were out of the classroom, in the hallway, and through the front door. They found me in the parking lot scooting to freedom in the time-out bucket. The teachers were furious and I said, “Hey, I never left the bucket”

So they called my mum and told her what I did and she just said, “Well, he never left the bucket.”

(via liamdryden)

These are actually pretty good, do ittttt.

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?
2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
4: Do you find it easy to trust others?
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
8: Are you close with your dad?
9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
10: What are you listening to?
11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
12. Do you like hickeys?
13: What time do you go to bed?
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
16: Do you always answer your texts?
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
21: Is anyone else in the room with you?
22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
25: In the past week, have you cried?
26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?
29: Do you have a best friend?
30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
31: Who was your last call from?
32: Are you mad at anyone?
33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
35: How many more days until your birthday?
36: Do you have any summer plans yet?
37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?
38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
42: Are you available?
43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?
44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
45: Do you believe exes can be friends?
46: Do you regret anything?
47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
48: Did you ever lose a best friend?
49: Was your last kiss a mistake?
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?
53: What was the last thing you ate?
54: Did you get any compliments today?
55: Where are you going on your next vacation?
56: Do you own anything from other countries?
57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?
58: Where have you lived most of your life?
59: When was the last time you took a long drive?
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
62: Who do you text the most?
63: What was the last movie you saw?
64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?
65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010?
66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?
67: Do you curse around your parents?
68: Are you happy with where you live?
69: Do you collect anything?
70: What’s your favourite colour?
71: Does the last song you listened to remind you of anyone?
72: Has anyone ever cheated on you?
73: What are your plans for tomorrow?
74: Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one?
75: Does your last ex have a job?
76: What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship?
77: Where is your cellphone?
78: What colour is your cellphone?
79: What did you dream of last night?
80: Are you atheist?
81: Will you change your name when you get married?
82: Are you ready for autumn weather?
83: Have you had any big storms recently?
84: What kind of bottoms are you wearing?

crossbowsandwalkers:

221tea:

khaoskomix:

What the Fuck ever brownies

1 splash of baking powder
Enough flour to make as much cake as you want
Last of a tin of coco powder
Find some almonds? Yeah chop them up and throw them in
Some sugar, about half of the amount of flour.

Mix it in a bowl.

Melt that bit of butter you have left in the fridge. Pour it in.
Add eggs. Drop one on the cooker. Desperately try to scoop it up. Egg on hands. Despair. Add like 3 eggs.
Find a can of condensed milk in the cupboard. Add it slowly, stirring until thick batter is made.
Chop up a bar of chocolate. Chuck it in.
Find some super old mini marshmellows. Eat one. Still good, add them in.
Put some grease proof paper in to a tray. Attempt to fold it neatly. Fail.
Throw batter in. Realise pan is too big, pick up paper and float brownie batter to smaller tray.
Smear batter as flat as possible. Batter way to thick but too late now.
Pour some more condensed milk on top to try to counter batter thickness.
Put it in oven, set to about 160 oC because your oven incenerates all in it’s path.
Cook some pork underneath it because brownies are not dinner. Consider the possibility of pork brownies.
When it smells good take it out the oven and poke it with a chop stick. Not done, put it back and force self to wait.

Take out when done, attempt to eat lava brownie. Fail. Slink away with proper food and wait for them to cool.

Eat 3, declare success. Smear nutella on top because top is ugly.

Take picture, post recipe to internet. Act smug.

Eat brownies.

this is literally the best recipe i have ever read in my life

I am so making these someday.

(via 221btardisstreet)

May 21

“Should I be concerned and give you hugs or is this a Homestuck thing again?” — A friend on another friend’s hysterical facebook status.

kaylahenderson:

jagkie:

bacon-beer-and-boobs:

i-ambic:

weareallstarstuff:

Serenity Nebula

good lord I think I just had a crisis

those colors though

*spacegasm*

Please keep talking about how you found evidence of Jesus in the sunset.

unless that’s Jesus’ penis, then you’re wrong. Also, he shouldn’t be showing me his penis because we’re not married and that’s a sin